Rum: A Really Weird Story by Bob and Bob2
by genies9
Summary: Chapter 3 now up. A very strange story about Captain Jack Sparrow's daughter... it involves pirates, corrupted nuns, dudes named Jacques, Stan, and best of all: RUM!
1. Default Chapter

A/N: Okay, this is a very strange story that we (Bob and I. aka Bant and genies9) wrote while we were on the bus. It's extremely odd, and if you don't get some of it, don't worry: Neither do we. Oh, and if you see the words "Progress is rapid" that's just stuff Bob said while I wrote, and I put it in. . . lol.  
  
Oh, and if you've read any of my (genies9) stories, this is. er. a bit different. :)  
  
Disclaimer: We don't own anything having to do with Pirates of the Caribbean. Please don't sue us!  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Once upon a time, in a land far far far far far far far far far far far (Punch) away, there was a little bitty girl on an island filled with rum and corrupted nuns. The most corrupted of them, their leader, was George. And he had a big gun. Progress is rapid.  
  
As we said, there was a little bitty girl, Jackie Sparrow, dropped off on the island of rum and corrupted nuns. There was also an itty bitty pirate captain. His name was Jacques. We love Jacques. He has a friend named Stan. I love Stan. But our story does not start there, it starts out years later when they're all growed (A/N: yes, growed) up.  
  
Jacques was the captain of The Bob. His first mate's name was Joe. We like Joe, too. But we're going to leave you right here because we're tired and we're going to go to sleep now.  
  
So just review the damn story.  
  
***  
  
A/N: We didn't really have to go to sleep, but my bus stop came, so we had to stop. 


	2. Dedicated to the VW Beetles!

A/N: Hi, we're woked up now. Good! Thanks reviewers. Of course, I (Bob) don't know if Bob2 does shout outs, but I do. End of chapter. (Bob2: Does that mean we have to wait till the end of the chapter for them, or is that the end of the chapter? I don't know, Bob wrote this one.) Yay, we have a plot now, 'kay. Read and Review!  
  
*~*~*~*~  
  
Now, Jacques, he was mad. You know why? Neither do we. So we'll let him tell you.  
  
"Because, 'zey stopped makin' mini volkvagens!" (A/N: Jacques is French, but he says "Volkswagen" with a German accent.) Okay, he's weird. No, actually, we were mad, too. So we decided with Jacques to start a holy war against the Volkswagen. Progress is rapid. We decided to start the Crusades! (A/N: Original, huh?)  
  
STOP!  
  
***  
  
A/N: Bob (bant) wrote the "stop!" Once again, my (genies9) bus stop came. Darn that George. (Yes, both the bus driver and the corrupted nun.)  
  
Ah. what do you write as a shout out? O.o Umm. WE LOVE YOU! How's that? Hey, it works for me... 


	3. Arguing and Drinking

A/N: Bob: Bob2's shout out sucked. (Bob2: It did not!) I'll do it over. Okay, moving on.  
  
Disclaimer: We don't own "Drink and Fight" by Flogging Molly. PLEASE DON'T SUE US!  
  
*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Chapter 3  
  
Jacques was on his pirate ship. With Joe, he was planning how he was going to destroy the "volksvagen" dealership. How this will help his cause, the world may never know. But he was going to do it anyway. (Bob2: My handwriting looks like a guys.) (Bob: Fine, I'll take over-my handwriting looks like crap.) (Bob2: Mine's better!) (Bob: I know.) (Bob2: You're supposed to argue.) (Bob: Oh, okay-Toad is cute.) (Bob2: No, he's not. Psst. Bob loves Goose!) (Bob: Bob does not! Bob likes Toad& Kurt 'cept there's three girls after Kurt & zero after Toad, so Toad is cute.) (Bob2: Well. I LOVE STAN!) (Bob: I know & Stan, he's cool, he's the coolest guy in the world, but Toad's the cutest!) (Bob2: Whatever happened to Stan and your beer truck, anyway?) (Bob: Stan hijacked my beer truck & I got it back & and we all went to a Flogging Molly concert and drunkenly swaggered around the mosh pit.) (Bob2: Okay. Why wasn't I invited to come along???) (Bob: 'cuz you were at home & I forgot where you're house is & we're totally off topic & should get back to da story) (Bob2: When are we ever on topic?) (Bob: Good point lots go back to our story, though.) (Bob2: PROGRESS IS RAPID!) (Bob: Yeah!)  
  
Meanwhile, Jackie was on the island of Rum & corrupted nuns. She. was drunk. Okay we're going to zoom in on her. She was singing. It sounded like this:  
  
"Well I stumbled through the door, and I'm drunk and full of smoke. My wife said `I've had enough, that's it, I'm sick, get out.' So I stumbled down to Kelly's pub & we had another round! Well.  
  
(CHORUS)  
  
Drink & drink & drink & drink & drink & drink & fight! Hey! If I see a pretty girl, I'll sleep with her tonight! And we'll drink (x6) and fight!  
  
And Mary MacGregor, while she was a pretty w*hore, she always greeted you with a smile and never locked her door, but on the day she died, all the men in town did weep, for Mary MacGregor finally got some sleep!  
  
Chorus  
  
Well, I once loved a girl, a child untold. I gave her my heart, and she gave me a cold. Now I sit, standing here out in the pouring rain, I'll stumble back to Kelly's pub, and cry away me pain! Chorus."  
  
She was dancing, too, it was scary. 'Kay, we're at school now! Bye.  
  
A/N: (Bob2) *sighs* Fine, here's the new one's all right?  
  
Susan B: We'll read your story thanks!  
  
Jaques: Thanks for the review.  
  
Bant: I don't need to talk to you!  
  
***  
  
Bob2: Oi. 


End file.
